brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
