woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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