I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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