I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
