it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
