My balls are so social today.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
