you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
