look no pants
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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