So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I supernannyed him into submission
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
