if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
