STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
