I want you more than these girls want KFC
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
