Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
