belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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