So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
