I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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