I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
