he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
