I want to have your abortion
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
