she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
