Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
