Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Enjoy the penises
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
