After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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