oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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