Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Send help, water and tortillas.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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