lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
