What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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