If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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