CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
