get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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