haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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