he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
