smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
