She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
