How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
