If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize