OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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