There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
