wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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