so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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