the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
