how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He did a backflip because drugs
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize