lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
