I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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