My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
