Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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