Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Randomize
