What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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