I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
