True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I think i got beer on your cat.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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