my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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