Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
