He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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