matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
