her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
