can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
