I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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