I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
