the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
