I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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