I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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