i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
