We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
