So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
