wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
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