The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
