Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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